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Preparing A Child For A New Baby

Preparing A Child For A New BabyWhen is that baby going back to the hospital?” asked the preschooler to her mother holding her new baby brother.

For you, the arrival of a new baby is a happy event. This is not necessarily true for an older child. The excitement and adjustment of a new baby in the house may naturally cause an older sibling to feel left out, abandoned, and less special – even as you reassure him that that isn’t the case. Many children may be jealous or tired of all the commotion and attention towards the new baby.

Sibling Rivalry & How to Help Siblings Build Relationships

What is sibling rivalry?

All children want the love and attention of their parents, and when a new child arrives, parents must divide their attention out of necessity. It’s important to remember that a child’s feelings of jealousy and fears of abandonment can exist simultaneously with feelings of love and pleasure about the new baby. Children may feel the new baby is a replacement or not yet understand how to assume the role of a big brother or sister.

With a little effort, parents can help foster sibling relationships and guide older children through this family transition.

  • Accept that sibling differences are normal.It’s natural for parents to track milestones between their children especially if they are keeping a baby book. Rather than compare, accept that children are different and come with their own unique characteristics.
  • Acknowledge your child’s feelings.Your child may display a wide range of emotions towards the new baby. Rather than dismissing it, acknowledge his feelings: “Is it frustrating that I have to help the baby while I am spending time with you?” Spend time remembering your own experiences and feelings as a sibling or talk to friends about their sibling relationships. Share your own stories with your child that help to illustrate that sibling differences are natural and it’s okay to have various feelings about the new baby or becoming a sibling.
  • Walk down memory lane with your child.Show your child pictures from his “babyhood” to illustrate the love and attention you gave him when he was an infant. Tell your child stories about all the wonderful baby things she did.
  • Plan one-on-one time with your child.Schedule special dates with your child and keep them. One-on-one time doesn’t have to be elaborate, a simple walk outside or snuggle time with a book are great ways to connect with your older child.
  • Integrate your child in the infant care routine. Make one of the baby’s daytime naps a special time to spend with your older child. During feedings, have your child join you to read a book or play a simple game such as iSpy. Give your child a special job during diaper changes or have her gently pat the baby’s back when he or she is crying.
  • Give it time.Some children may take longer to accept a new sibling into the family. Try not to force the relationship but let it grow over time.

Individual Reactions Children Have to New Babies

Why is it more difficult for some children to adjust to a new sibling? The University of Michigan Health System suggests many factors that can contribute to a hard adjustment:

  • Research indicates that a child’s personality has the greatest effect on how he or she reacts to a new baby.
  • Children with the closest relationships with their mothers have shown to become more upset after the baby is born.
  • Your child’s developmental stage may affect how well they can share your attention. Often toddlers have more trouble getting used to a new baby, because their needs for time and closeness from their parents are still great.
  • Stress on the family can make your older child’s adjustment harder.

Children’s Books About Adjusting to a New Baby

There are many great children’s books available about pregnancy, birth, adoption, and new baby siblings. Reading together will help your child realize her feelings and ideas are normal and that no matter what happens, you love her in a very special way and always will.

Toddler books:

  • Waiting for Baby by Rachel Fuller
  • My New Baby by Annie Kubler
  • We Have a Baby by Cathryn Falwel
  • The New Baby by Fred Rogers
  • The New Baby at Your House by Joanna Cole

Preschooler books:

  • Baby Brother by Tanneke Wigersma
  • Julius, the Baby of the World by Kevin Henkes
  • Will There be a Lap for Me? by Dorothy Corey
  • When the New Baby Comes, I’m Moving Out and Nobody Asked Me if I Wanted a Baby Sister by Martha Alexander

Pre-Kindergarten through School-age books:

  • A New Baby Is Coming! by Emily Menendez-Aponte
  • My New Baby and Me by Dian Smith
  • Arthur and the Baby by Marc Brown
  • Pinky and Rex and the New Baby by James Howe
  • Welcoming Babies by Margy Burns Knight
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How To Get Children To Try New Foods

How To Get Children To Try New Foods“Jack will only eat white food, nothing else.”
“The only way I can get Simone to eat her vegetables is if I bribe her with ice cream.”
“Elia is so picky. I have to serve everything on separate plates so nothing is touching.”

These are all sentiments, or variations of, spoken by exasperated parents of finicky eaters each day in all parts of the country. The truth is, some children embrace new foods heartily while others, not so much. Being choosy about food is often a stage children go through, common when children are experimenting with control.  And it is true that many children will grow out of it, at least to a manageable level.

But what is also true is that many children become choosy because of the way we introduce and consume food. And those children often remain choosy, at least to some extent, into adulthood. This means they will spend a lifetime missing out on important nutrients and food experiences. Of course, there may be a medical reason a child is a finicky eater and this deserves professional attention, but typically it is a choice they are making.

While picky eating can be a battleground, there are a few things you can do to minimize it from starting or getting out of control. Remember that each child is different and has varied preferences; celebrate progress, rather than hold out for perfection. At the same time, know that turning a child who picks at their food into a willing and eager eater is quite possible.

  • From infancy, introduce a variety of food to expand your child’s palate: flavors, textures, smells, and temperatures.
  • Cook together. Making something always makes it more appealing. Even better, let your child chooses what to make (out of a few healthy options you provide, of course).
  • Try to avoid kid’s meals at home or restaurants. They typically have minimal nutritional value and do nothing to encourage diverse eating. Kids can and should eat what adults are eating.
  • Do not avoid foods you don’t like – let your child have a chance to develop his own tastes.
  • Avoid heavy snacking (including beverages) between meals to ensure your child is hungry at mealtime.
  • Don’t save room for dessert; it sends the message that other food is what you have to get through to get to the good stuff. Healthy food should be the prize. Dessert should be for special occasions and moments only.
  • Don’t bribe your child to eat. Their focus shifts from the food to the reward. This is a form of emotional eating; a bad habit to start.
  • No cutting crusts. It’s a short-term win, but a long-term loss. Avoid food preparations that encourage being picky. Sometimes parents do this before a child even asks, starting a habit without thinking about it.
  • Clean plates are over-rated. Sure, you don’t want to encourage wasting food, but forcing children to finish an item or meal teaches them to ignore their internal ‘full’ signal and potentially associate a bad memory or feeling with a specific food. Start with small portions and offer seconds.
  • When serving a new food, keep your expectations small: one spear of asparagus, one shrimp, etc.
  • Replace one thing at a time. For example, don’t stop baking cookies altogether, just switch to whole-wheat flour. Don’t eliminate juice; just try cranberry, peach, or mango instead of apple (100% juice, of course).
  • Create balance. Include a favorite at each meal when you’re serving something new.
  • Take the pressure off and introduce new foods away from the table: a whole-grain bread or cheese taste test, a “name that fruit” challenge, a French or Greek themed picnic at the park, grocery store sample challenge, etc.
  • As a last resort, introduce new things in favorite ways – if you have to fry zucchini once or twice to get your child to try it, it’s ok. They’ll be less hesitant when you add it to a salad or grill it later.
  • Do not, do not, do not make a face when you don’t like something. Be a good role-model.
  • Trying should be for everyone in the family – consider incorporating these ‘rules’ into your routine.
  • Family rule – try everything at every meal, even if it’s only one pea and even if you’ve tried it before.
  • Respect preferences. If a child doesn’t want to eat more, don’t force him. He may hesitate to admit he likes something in the future if he feels pressure.
  • Everybody tries. That means mom, dad, big sister – everyone.
  • Trying a food item one day does not exempt anyone from trying it again another day. It often takes ten or more tries to develop a taste for something.
  • Let kids not like a few things. No one likes everything. If a child clearly doesn’t like something, be okay with that.

To the parent of a choosy eater, this may seem impossible. But in actuality, most children respond to these methods. With a strong commitment to lifelong healthy nutrition and the willpower to withstand a few days of whining, you can turn your child’s eating habits around.

NOTE: If your child complains of physical symptoms after eating, doesn’t eat much of anything, is underweight, or has other potential medical symptoms related to eating, consult a physician.

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Teaching Children About Dental Health

It’s never too soon to teach your children about the importance of good oral health and get them in to a routine that will carry them throughout their lives. While some children will take to the task at hand easily and without much fuss, everyone learns differently and may take a little extra coaxing. Here are a few tips for you from us at Premier Academy to help your little ones keep their teeth and gums healthy.

  • Teach your children about their teeth. Explain the different types of teeth, how many they have, where they are located and even what their jobs are. As adults we have 32 teeth – twelve molars (in sets of three and are in the back of the mouth), eight premolars (also known as bicuspids and are used to crush and tear food), four cuspids (next to the bicuspids or premolars and are pointed which make tearing food easy) and eight incisors (located in the front of the mouth and are used to cut food.)
  • Read books specifically about dental health. A trip to your library or local book store will provide plenty of age-appropriate reading material that talk about good dental health. For younger children, books with more illustrations are a better choice. If you are able to connect to the Internet, the American Dental Association’s website offers an animated book about going to the dentist.
  • Experiments are fun, too! You can come up with your own experiments or, if you prefer, Crest offers a great experiment on their website that shows how teeth can become soft and weak if they are continuously exposed to acids that are normally found in foods we eat every day.

The younger your children are the better when it comes to teaching about good oral health habits. Don’t put it off another minute!

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The Importance of Free & Unstructured Outdoor Play for Kids

The Importance of Free & Unstructured Outdoor Play for KidsDo you remember having long extended periods of time outdoors where you invented elaborate play scenarios? Perhaps you played pirates or were part of a new made-up family. Maybe you planned adventures like building a fort or tried new skills like catching salamanders. Children benefit greatly from open-ended time where they are in their parents’ view but have some independence in solving problems and determining how the play proceeds.

Child Development through Structured & Unstructured Play

Structured play is the kind of play where there is typically an adult leader and a specific, planned way in which the play will go. For example, organized sports or dance classes are structured play. Playing a board game with specific rules and directions with an adult playing or looking on is also an example of structured play. Your child can benefit from finding the right structured play activities but it should be complemented with opportunities for unstructured play. These are the types of activities that are typically child-directed with no set goals or direction.

The Benefits of Unstructured Play for Kids

Why is unstructured outdoor play important? There are so many benefits. A few are below:

  • Children need more physical activity. Many sources agree that today’s children are too sedentary. In addition to 20 – 30 minutes of daily structured physical activity, children should get at least 60 minutes of unstructured physical activity daily, and more is even better
  • Unstructured outdoor play offers opportunities to develop executive function skills. Executive function skills have been compared to an air traffic control system in each of our bodies. These essential life skills help us remember information, filter out distractions, switch gears when needed, and sustain focus over time (Harvard University Center on the Developing Child, 2015). Among the many benefits of imaginary play, one is helping children develop these executive function skills. Children develop rules for the imaginary scenarios they create, remember and try out complex ideas, apply the rules to the scenarios as they go along, and regulate each other’s behavior. Given the time, children can extend imaginary play for hours.
  • Children who play outdoors regularly are less likely to be nearsighted (Shephard, 2015). Sunshine and natural light help children have better distance vision.
  • Social skills are enhanced. There are many different skills children learn from unstructured activities. Children who have opportunities to work together with their peers towards a goal learn friendship skills such as teamwork, problem-solving, care and cooperation, all critical skills for school and life.

Younger Children and Unstructured Outdoor Play

Younger children need closer supervision than school-agers. You can help them get started by asking them what they could do with a basket of smooth stones or a net bag filled with balls of varying sizes. Then step back, keep them in view, but let the play unfold and resist the urge to intervene too much. (Note: children also benefit greatly by having you engage in play with them; but occasionally let them figure out the direction of the play with their peers without much adult intervention). Consider loose parts for a variety of open-ended play possibilities. Examples of loose parts include natural items like sticks and stones of varying sizes, sand, water, small logs, and leaves and/or man-made items like hula hoops, balls, jump ropes, stepping stones, trikes, wheelbarrows, buckets, tubes, large blocks, or sifters. The possibilities are endless with these kinds of materials.

Children want to play outside because it is fun. That is enough of a reason to offer it. Look for ways to build unstructured outdoor play into your child’s week with many potential benefits for your child.

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Tips to Help Preschool Children Develop Independence

Keeping Your Child Safe from the Summer HeatFrom infancy, humans seem to be on a quest for independence. Babies insist on holding a bottle or picking up food themselves. Toddlers emphatically announce, “Me do it.” The preschool years are a time of burgeoning independence as children gain the intellectual, verbal, and social-emotional skills to tackle more tasks independently.

But how do you balance your child’s desire for independence with his need for safety and limits? This issue is one that doesn’t go away as your child gets older, but continues to emerge. Think of sleepovers, extracurricular activities, teen dating, sports, and perhaps the scariest of all – handing over the car keys to your teen driver. The communication and relationship style you develop when your child is a preschooler will continue to inform your parenting for many years to come. Here are a few ideas to navigate the journey to independence with your child.

Tips to Help Preschool Children Develop Independence

  • Pick your battles. If you find yourself butting heads with your preschooler, ask yourself, “Will this matter a year from now?” In many cases, it’s okay – and even desirable – to let your preschooler make decisions. Parents always get the final say in matters of safety, health, and well-being, but your preschooler can help make many small decisions, such as which book to read at story time or which movie to watch at family movie night.
  • Offer choices. One of the simplest ways to foster independence and help develop critical thinking skills in toddlers and preschoolers is by offering choices you both can live with. For example, many children love to choose what they’ll wear each day, but still need a little guidance to make appropriate choices. Let your child pick her clothing, but set some boundaries, e.g., “It’s cold outside so you need to wear pants or leggings.”
  • Provide flexibility within structure. Predictability and consistency help children feel safe, but rigidity can cause them to bristle. Maintain a schedule and let your child know what to expect. At the same time, be willing to make changes when necessary. For example, perhaps you have a rule that you eat dinner as a family with no television or devices on. This is a perfectly reasonable rule, but there’s room for flexibility too. It’s okay to move dinner back 15 minutes to let your child finish watching a favorite television program. These small gestures build a spirit of good will and cooperation within your family.
  • Support growth. Early childhood theorist, Lev Vygotsky, favored an approach of “scaffolding” children’s growth to teach new skills. He suggested observing children to understand what skills they had already mastered, then working directly with them to learn a new, slightly more difficult skill. Perhaps your preschooler can put on his shirt and pants, but hasn’t learned to put on shoes and socks. Encourage your child to learn these skills and practice together for several days. Soon your child will develop the new skill independently.
  • Set up the environment for success. How your home is organized can make a big difference in your child’s independence. Organize your home so your child knows where everything goes. Shoes and coat go in the mudroom, for instance. Toys go in marked bins in the playroom or bedroom. In the kitchen, keep plastic dishware down low and teach your child how to get a simple snack or cup of water.

Think about the experience of parenting as slowly releasing responsibility over time, starting when your child is in preschool. Your child should learn from an early age that you are her best advocate and cheerleader. At the same time, it’s your job to keep her safe and healthy by setting reasonable limits. Mutual respect, understanding, and cooperation guide every interaction.

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Gardening with Small Children

Gardening With Small ChildrenGardening is not only a soothing and relaxing hobby for you, it’s also a great way to stimulate your baby’s or toddler’s senses and instill in them the love for growing things.

Gardening with your children doesn’t have to be a large or long and drawn out process – in fact, this can lead to a feeling of overwhelm for both of you. Starting with a small garden, maybe only a few pots on your porch or if you live in an apartment where space is limited, a few plants under a grow light works too. In order to keep your young and up and coming gardeners interested and excited about their budding new hobby, choose plants that are colorful, flavorful and fragrant. Use plants that come from large seeds so that little hands are able to easily sow them into the soil and choose plants that you will be able to harvest quickly so that your child doesn’t lose interest.

Children like to imitate what mommy and daddy or grandma and grandpa are doing so be sure to include them in the garden, even if it’s just a small corner in the garden rather than the pots on your porch. You can give them jobs like weeding small areas, give them a spray bottle with water to spray plants that aren’t to be completely saturated. Your older children can even go slug collecting in their new garden.

Keep in mind that when you are teaching your children about gardening and they become much more regular at it, you’ll want to make sure that there are no poisonous or other harmful plants in the general facility of the plants you are allowing them to “tend” to. Teach your children right from the beginning that it never ok to put any plant into their mouths – even organic gardening can have harmful plants.

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Finding the Right Parenting Style

Finding the Right Parenting StyleWhen we become parents or if we’re planning to become parents, we develop our own concept of what the “right thing” is when it comes to parenting. We may opt to be the strict disciplinarian or maybe we’ll opt for being more relaxed and even care free and still others may opt for something more in the middle of both styles.

Two children raised by the same parents will likely give very different answers when they are asked about how they feel about their parents because they perceive things differently. While one may believe they were disciplined enough or appropriately, the other may feel that they were over-disciplined or not disciplined enough. When we become adults, many of the decisions we make when it comes to parenting are based on our own experiences and upbringing. We may choose to follow our parents’ style or go in the opposite direction.

Here are a few things to consider when you are trying to decide on the right style of you:

  • Remember that your choices will affect your children’s future happiness, outlook on life and even their future relationships. We all want what’s best for our children but sometimes we don’t always make the best choices or decisions. Evaluate what you are doing and how you are communicating with your children; if you don’t like the results it’s time to change.
  • How much time have you spent reading information on different parenting styles? Obviously not every book is right and not every “expert” is really an expert. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t something to be said for learning something from others – especially when it comes to things like potty training advice or dealing with a biter. If there is legitimate advice at your fingertips, there’s no point in reinventing the wheel.
  • It’s a good idea to communicate your parenting style with the teachers at your child’s daycare.  This way they can adopt the same techniques you use with your child and there will always be consistency in discipline and rewards.  Premier Academy teachers will be happy to meet with you to discuss different parenting techniques that seem to be working for you at home or that work for us here at the center.

In the end it all comes down to: if you like the way you parent, then you’ve picked the right style of parenting for you. You will never find two parents that agree on everything and you will never find a child who agrees with his or her parents about the way they are disciplined. In a nutshell – when it comes to parenting, one size does not fit all.

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Children and Technology: Parenting Tips for the Digital Age

Children and Technology: Parenting Tips for the Digital AgeSmart phones, laptops and tablets, oh my! We love all sorts of technologies ourselves but worry about the effect of too much technology on our children. According to a study by Common Sense Media in 2013, the total average screen time for children ages 0-8 years is just under two hours a day. Traditional screen time in front of a TV is still the preferred form of screen time, but not surprisingly, mobile screen time is up. According to the study, 38% of children under two have used a mobile device.

The American Academy of Pediatrics along with the White House Task Force on Childhood Obesity recommend that children under two have no screen time. For children ages 2-5 years, the recommendation for children and technology at home ranges from 1-2 hours per day. The limits are recommended for many reasons, including:

  • Sedentary activities like watching TV or playing with smart phone apps limit children’s time to be physically active, important for growing bodies
  • Unscreened media content may expose children to food and beverage advertisement for kids, or sexual and violent content.
  • Children benefit from playtime learning and through their interactions with other children and adults. The use of technology is often a solitary experience, limiting chances for developing social skills through joint play activities.
  • Excessive screen time for children has been linked to irregular sleep, behavioral problems, academic lags, and more.

Passive vs. Interactive Technology: Of course, not all technology experiences are equal. Non-interactive or passive technology like television, movie viewing or streaming media provides no opportunities for hands-on learning, which we know is key for young children’s development. On the other hand, interactive media like ebooks, searching on the internet to solve a problem, or experimenting with educational apps for kids have greater potential than passive experiences. Pre-screening is always recommended with either interactive or non-interactive technology. Intentionality refers to the deliberate choices teachers and parents make about what kind of educational technology might be useful to a particular child’s development. For instance, if your child loves to draw and tell stories, give your child many intentional opportunities to build those skills. If you want your child to also be technologically literate, look for software or apps that allow your child to be a media creator rather than just a game player. Or look for technology that encourages creativity, exploration, pretend play, peer interactions and more.

As with most parenting decisions, you have to examine the recommendations and figure out what is best for your family in the digital age. If having your children under foot while you are trying to prepare dinner results in you losing your patience, then maybe a little video viewing at that time may be a preferred alternative. And of course you are not a “bad parent” if you occasionally go over the above suggested daily limits. Here are a few thoughts to consider when establishing your family’s approach to screen time:

  • We can borrow some terms from the field of early childhood education to guide our decision-making about technology and children: developmentally appropriate practice and intentionality. When you consider the development appropriateness of technology for children, you take into account your child’s age, developmental level and individual characteristics. Ask yourself questions like “Is this movie and the violence it includes appropriate for my five-year-old who tends to act out everything he sees?”
  • Establish your own family rules for screen time. Consider less screen time during the week and relax a little on weekends.
  • Consider an occasional screen free week or day for the whole family to participate.
  • To manage children & technology, set a good example yourself.
  • Substitute quality time together for screen time. Plan a special outing, play a board game together or let your child choose the activity and follow his/her lead. School-age kids may act like they are not interested, but what children really want and look for is your attention. It is worth persisting.
  • When possible, watch TV with your child or interact with the tablet together. Do jumping jacks during commercials or take a break to see who can jump the longest.
  • Keep TVs and computers out of children’s bedrooms. When there, research shows there is increased screen time by children.The rapidly changing technological landscape in the digital age has been compared to the historical shift that occurred after the introduction of the printing press, which greatly expanded access to books and printed materials. The impact of technology on children’s lives is constantly changing and as parents and guardians, we are responsible for helping our children maintain healthy technology usage through this important part of their lives.

Digital citizenship in the digital age: Part of our role as parents is also to teach children to be responsible consumers of technology. School-agers can be introduced to the concept of cyber safety and what are appropriate and inappropriate uses of technology. It is also important to explain to children why they have screen time limits.

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Financial Planning for Your Baby’s College Years

Financial Planning for Your Baby's College YearsOne day you’re bringing your new little bundle of joy home from the hospital, the next day they’re off to kindergarten and the day after that they are off to college. Ok, it’s not QUITE that fast but you get the idea – time flies when you’re having fun. Because it won’t be long until your baby is heading to college it’s important that you start saving for that time now. In fact, if you haven’t started planning, preparing and saving by the time your child enters kindergarten, you’re just about five years behind the eight ball.

Financial planning for your baby’s college years

Even if you haven’t started until after your child is of school age, it’s never too late to get moving. However, be sure that you are being realistic in your planning. The average cost of tuition at a public university is almost $43,000 and a private school can cost almost $110,000 – increasing more than 40% over the past ten years and will without a doubt continue to rise. Many schools offer prepaid tuition programs that freeze the current rates to allow you to pay off the tuition.

There are also state-operated college savings plans called Section 529 plans. These allow not only parents but also grandparents, relatives and even friends to put money aside to help offset your child’s tuition expenses.

Another option you may have is to invest in an educational savings account. While these accounts are typically small – only $2000 per year – it’s still a help with books and supplies even if it doesn’t do much to offset the high cost of tuition.

Before you can truly prepare for your child’s education costs, you should first have your own solid, financial plan and make sure your goals are prioritized so you know the exact steps you’ll need to take to reach them.

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How to Find the Right Bike for Your Child

How to Find the Right Bike for Your ChildWith bicycling listed as the second most popular outdoor activity in the US, it only makes sense that sometime in the possibly not-so-distant future you will be looking for a new bike for your child.

When you first start looking, the massive wall of bikes at your bike shop or retailer can be overwhelming to say the least. There are a lot of options to choose from and it may be difficult to know which one is right for your child if you aren’t sure what to look for.

The most important thing and first decision to be made is about the size of the bike. Bikes for children are measured by the wheel’s diameter and can be from twelve to 24 inches. The size you’ll need depends on your child’s age and either his or her height or leg length. An easy example – a two-year-old will likely start on a 12-inch bike.

To make sure the bike has a proper fit with your child, have he or she sit on the bike with hands on the handlebars. A bike that is a good fit will allow your child to sit comfortably on the bike with both feet on the ground.

Safety is also very important and no bike purchase is complete without a helmet. By purchasing a helmet with your child’s first bike, you are setting them on a course of good, solid habits early on, not to mention, some states – like Maryland – require helmets for any bike riders under the age of 16. Helmets can come in all shapes and sizes so be sure to pick one that fits properly: it should be tight against the back of your child’s head while the front is parallel with the eyes.  The helmet should also sit two fingers’ width above your child’s eyebrows.

You may also want to consider bells or horns for your child’s bike as a further added safety precaution. It never hurts to have your child get in the habit of alerting people that a little one is scooting by.

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